JOKE THREAD........LETS GET THE BEST ONES YOU GOT


#1

TIN CUP HAD A GOOD ONE

LETS HAVE EVERYONE PARTICIPATE

WHO KNOWS THERE MIGHT BE A GIFT IF I FIND ONE OR MORE FUNNY

WHO’S 1ST


#2

Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella?























FO DRIZZLE !!!

blingbling


#3

One day farmer Bob goes out to his field & spots his great stallion crying, this is wierd he thinks…it goes on for days before farmer Bob believes he has to do something.
He puts out an ad with a reward of $100,000 if someone can get his great stallion to stop crying.
Over the next couple of weeks many tried & failed, including well known animal doctors. At the end of those 2 weeks a young man walks up to Farmer Bob & says he thinks he can get the great stallion to stop crying.
Farmer Bob scoffed as noone could, but go ahead he says.

The young man walks up to the stallion & whispers into his ear, suddenly the stallion stops crying & begins a hysterical laughter.
Young man collects his reward.

After a couple of weeks of the great stallion laughing hysterically Farmer Bob puts another ad out with another $100,000 reward.
Once more many tried & failed.
After a couple of weeks of this the same young man shows up again & says to Farmer Bob he could make the great stallion stop laughing.
Go for it lad, everyone else has failed.
The young man walks up to the great stallion & whispers into his ear, the stallion stops for a moment as the young man rustles, then again the great stallion bursts into tears.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? The great stallion is crying again! says Farmer Bob,
I have done what ad said & am here to collect my reward.

Farmer Bob begrudgedly hands over the money,
BTW, tell me how you got the great stallion to stop crying & burst into laughter?
Told him I had a bigger dick than him
And how did you get him to cry again.
Showed him!


#4

For the underaged people in here

Why is 10 afraid of 7?

"

Because 7 8 9!


#5

Three hillbillies sitting on the porch,…

The first one says,…my wife is so dumb,…she wants a air condioner and we aint even got no electricity.

…the second hillbilly says,…my wifes so stupid she is a wantin’ a dishwasher and we aint even got no runnin’ water.

…the third hillbilly says,…boys that aint nuthin’,…I was a lookin through my wifes purse the other day for a chew of toobacker,…and that dumb bitch had some rubbers,…and she aint even got no pecker.

(dfjlksfjsldk)(dfjlksfjsldk)(dfjlksfjsldk)


#6

[QUOTE=the factsman;669847]time to bump the jokes guys

22 days left in 2016

bring the heat(1312741)(1312741)[/QUOTE]

Hottest Joke I could find Joe my friend… enjoy…

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency and no matter what we’re doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They’re very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.”

By Jerry Seinfeld…


#7

Irish Joke.

Paddy says to Mick, “I’m getting circumcised tomorrow.” Mick says, “I had that done when I was a few days old.” Paddy asks, “Does it Hurt?”
Mick says, ” Well I couldn’t walk for 14 months…”


#8

Best joke, and simple, easy to remember, most here have prob heard it:

Why does a dog lick his balls?

…cuz he can!


#9

Want to hear a joke about construction?

I’m still working on it.


#10

A homeless guy is walking down a country lane, he is very tired and extremely hungry and then comes across a Pub called the “George and the Dragon.” Although it’s late and the Pub is closed he knocks on the door.
The innkeeper’s wife sticks her head out of a window. “Could I have some food?” he asks politely. The woman glances at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition and sternly says, “No!” “Any chance of a pint of ale then?” “No!” she says again. “Could I at least sleep in your barn over there?” “No!” By this time, she was shouting. The down-and-out man says, “OK Then Might I please…?” “What now?” the woman shouts impatiently. “Might I please have a word with George?